How important is religion in parenting? Last night my husband and I we were up until late discussing religion matters regarding our daughter. When religion plays a big role in parenting it such a pain in the …… Married to a Muslim man and I was born a Christian but later changed to nothing. Definitely have good reasons.
What sparked the question of religion, you know in Muslim culture there are women who cover their faces. As I learn a little about the Quran each day I somehow feel that is oppressing women making men feel all superior above women and as a feminist that is a no, no in my book. I might be wrong, but as far as I understand I wouldn’t want my daughter to get involved with something that will teach her that men have power over women.
Found asking myself why religion plays a huge role in parenting. Is religion really necessary, especially religion that will inhabit a human being to enjoy life and all its possibilities. Asked husband actually told him that our daughter should have the freedom to choose with path/religion she wants to follow when she is old enough. For now, we teach her what is right and wrong and let her experience life and everything in it.
Am I really just a bad parent? When I married my husband we never spoke about this and I never even thought about it. He knew where I stood when it comes to religion. Always say I don’t judge anyone who believes in God/Allah, but don’t know force your beliefs down my throat.
My daughter, she is a curious child and she is always interested in why in Christianity, they praise God the way they do and sing loudly and scream hallelujah while in Muslim they don’t. She also wanted to know why Hindus had so many gods and goddesses and the other day she wanted to know who is RA (The Egyptian God of Sun) I explain to her to the best of my abilities.
Am I being unreasonable to my husband about the religion matter? Have you encountered the same problem?
I recently had the bad touch talk with my daughter because I believed that is was time for her to learn the difference and because she is an overly friendly person. I am a fan of Law and Order: SUV. I have seen enough to understand that an adult or child older than my daughter have the power to pursue my daughter to keep a secret and she won’t know if that is wrong because I as the parent I would have never spoken to hear about what is bad and what is good.
I am glad to say the first my daughter learned was that secrets are bad, but I noticed that when she was playing with friends and she came back upset when I asked her what happened, she would refuse to tell me. I had to get it out of her that is why I decided to have the talk with her so that she knows that I am her safe haven and she can tell me anything.
The Bad Touch Talk With My Daughter
1. No one is supposed to touch her private parts in a funny way.
2. Touch her bum and her breasts
3. No one is supposed to kiss her like husband and wife kiss it is wrong
4. When someone touches her in the wrong way she has the right to scream NO
5. I put the talk in play I touch her bum in an uncomfortable way and she told me that is wrong I must stop it.
6. She can tell on anyone touching her the bad way could her teacher, transport driver, uncle, aunt, parents (her father and I) and even her friends.
7. That her body belongs to her and no one else
8. If someone asks her to touch their private parts she must say no
9. It is never her fault that the other person behaved badly towards her.
We need to start child sexual awareness at an early age by instilling the power of No and the power of knowledge in our children. Besides, most of the sexual offenders they are the people that our children know and trust from our family members, friends and neighbours. It is always some close to us who may cause harm to our children.
They are lots of platforms online that can help us parents in talking to our children about sexual abuse and there are also activities you can play with them to make the learning less intense and more fun.
Have you spoken to your son or daughter about the bad touch and how did it go?
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Where did you get her? I am sorry but there is nothing natural about that question it just feels so wrong to me and I used to get really pissed off when someone asked me that question.
It never occurred to me that having a mixed race child can be difficult and I have discovered how people can be so closed minded. My daughter Abeerah her daddy is Indian and I am black and the comments I get on the streets they are disgusting because she looks more Indian than black. My mother was also uncomfortable with my daughter’s hair, she would say people will say we stole her and so she would cut her hair, hoping it will grow back looking like mine Afro and she bought her beanies and hats for when we go out.
After having my daughter made me realise that people still have a problem with interracial marriage and couples. Questions and comments would go from why did you leave us black men and go have an Indian baby and you are lying she is not your child. Even to this day I am still mistaken for the nanny.
Now that my daughter has grown up and she plays with other children they say things to her and she later asks me. The recent question, what is a coloured? I was really shocked well, I am shocked every time she asks me something I am not expecting then I asked her why is she asking me that and she told me that one boy visiting her friend’s house said she is a coloured . I honestly did not know what to say and I still don’t know. How do I answer such a question when I don’t even consider my child coloured and I am clearly uncomfortable classifying her.
A few months back when I was filling in a school application form it reached the race column and I left it blank. I spent about 5 minutes thinking about which box I must tick. It is difficult raising a child in a black dominated community. While I was pregnant the only thing I thought about was how her hair will look like not how will people react to me having a biracial child.
It is my responsibility as a parent to teach my daughter to embrace her uniqueness because she is beautiful no matter what with curly or straight hair.