Suicide horror for poor student this headline brought back memories buried deep in my mind and I must say suicide is not the answer even when things are so dark to the point of no hope. I have been there you know that pitch black bottomless pit where everything got worse each day.
There was a time when I tried to commit suicide and my mother found me and she told me not to make my enemies happy. I just could not take it anymore, I was my father’s punching bag never understood why he hated me, but he had his own demons, I realized by him abusing my mother and my siblings it was to make himself feel better about himself.
I didn’t not grow up in a happy home, there was a time when I had only one short and T-shirt nothing else at night I would wash them and hang them for the next day it was tough and not because we were poor, but because my father was a people pleaser, he took money and spent on friends and women, money I slaved away making selling in our shop every day before and after school.
I remember going to school with only transport money, nothing to eat, try learning with an empty stomach, it’s not easy and I got my university entrance in materials and I could not fulfill my dreams of attending Wits University because there was no money things were not going well for me, finally got to college and the last year was the hardest not having money to buy text books even to make a photocopy so I had to write the notes out and my results dropped that year but I did not give.Hope of having a better, richer life kept me going so please find your hope and keep going, I know life can be hard and I have been there on that road of I cannot do this anymore.
I could have easily succeeded with my suicide attempt and could have easily become a street kid by running away from that horrific home but hope kept me going. I know it’s not easy and didn’t have an option to choose the family, we are born in but think twice, even thrice before throwing in the towel because you have no idea what the future has in store for you.
I still struggle with depression, there are times when that lonely, cold and dark feeling comes back and it is hard to shake off, but I always find something positive in my life to pull me through from the darkness to the light.